Friday, June 20, 2014

A Mama's Thoughts

This a.m. I helped my daughter with last minute packing. I made her a lunch, since she was behind, time-wise. She left for the coast.  I will miss her. But she'll be back next week. I even took a photo of her car so I'd remember the license plate numbers, just in case.   I remember the years she went to church camp and I'd help her pack a little. Then we'd drive her to the coast and drop her off. Then we'd spend some time there on the coast, walking on the beach, eating pizza and maybe ice cream before we head home. {We did that when we'd take our son as well.}  Now I send her off, she's older now, 30ish--- not a child.  Driving off.....My eyes well up with tears, as I come back inside.  I prayed with  her for safety and a good week at camp. She's on the camp staff next week, cabin mom.

 A few years ago we packed her off the Navy boot camp as that's what she wanted to do in 2006.  She'd studied for her exam to get in. Started running to get into shape, did push ups, sit-ups.  Then beginning of 2nd week of training she hurt her arm, jumping into the pool, as directed. Life changed. Tears. Her dreams are shattered. She was miles away and this mama couldn't go to her. Only a couple phone calls.  We cried.  But then I realized we were getting our girl back. Alive, in pain. Not in a  casket, like some sad parents were receiving.  It was nearly Thanksgiving. Would she be home? Yes! She and other women from the separation unit were able to leave. Thanks to a kind Petty Officer, who thought they needed to go home instead of staying, for nothing.  We hugged her as she came through the airport gate. So good to see her, even though she didn't have a uniform on. A plain Navy coat, she needed it because it was cold in Chicago and going home in a white t-shirt is not a good option in November!  We've been through much, her trying to get help from the VA, to no avail. Appeals. Rejected. There was enough info there!!!{Making a long story short here}

She goes on, does what she can to survive. Sometimes days are painful for her. Some jobs she cannot perform because of her arm issue. She's almost done with a college degree. Still looking for work.  Again! She still lives with us. There's no shame in that. Where else will she go with little to live on?  America seems to be the only culture where the kids move out when they are old enough, go to college, get a job. What happens when there's not enough money to rent the expensive apartments? Less expensive apartments are usually in less desirable areas. She lived in one before she went into the Navy.  Life isn't perfect. We'd love to see her on her own as she wishes she was.  Nothing wrong with being a single, virtuous woman who loves the Lord. 

Restructuring my thoughts and feelings has been helpful. I've recently learned to control myself better in the anger department. When we get into a bit of an argument, I've found that backing off and not raising my voice. We both have different ways of handling issues. It's not always easy to be a mom to an adult daughter, when she's living at home. I just quit stressing about tasks that she doesn't do til later.  We get along pretty well. Love to shop together once in awhile.  Watch chick flicks or Food Channel network shows.  Live Below Zero, on National Geographic is a new one we've been watching. We both decided we could never life way out in the middle of nowhere in Alaska. Maybe right outside of town? Edge of town? Give me the beach here in Oregon, that's what we prefer!  Sorry, I digress!

As I look back over the years, we've had a good relationship.  I am thankful we have raised our children in the knowledge of the Lord. They have, in turn, shown that love of the Lord to other people in their lives. Shared the gospel. Serve in the churches they go to. For this we are grateful, as parents. Leaving a legacy for the next generation of our family.  The best thing we could ever do on earth.

Photo taken at Fleet Week, Portland Rose Festival, 2011.


aimee said...

Wishing your daughter a blessed week at church camp:) It must be very frustrating to your daughter
to be so young and dealing with an injury that limits her.
Our oldest son is living with us temporarily and it's fun to have him at home again--even if it is just for awhile.

Gracie Saylor said...

Your post is lovely, Becky, and helps me appreciate my own situation, living with my two daughters, their spouses and four darling granddaughters. We have been buying our house together for nearly five years and are preparing for change as my oldest daughter's family sense that the Lord is preparing them to move out of this house....into a house hopefully nearby. Blessings on you and yours xx